This Much I Know: Learning Out Loud

  Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis: The Invisible Battle I Never Expected In October 2018, I visited a rheumatologist for the first time after enduring several months of intense arthritic pain, especially in my feet. The pain had become so severe that even walking felt impossible. I was diagnosed with Spondylarthritis, but truthfully, I don’t think the doctor really knew what was going on. The symptoms hit me like a freight train, sudden, overwhelming, and terrifying.  With a family history of Crohn’s disease and arthritis on both sides, I had a feeling something more was happening. By the end of November, the pain spread to both of my hands. Blood work revealed elevated erythrocyte sedimentation rate (EST) and C-reactive protein (CRP), terms that meant nothing to me at the time but soon would become familiar markers of my new normal.  Then in January 2019, I received the official diagnosis: Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) involving multiple joints with a positive rheumatoid fa...

  When Being Polite Feels Like the Hardest Choice I said I wasn’t going to write about this, but here I am. I wrote it over a week ago, thinking I might just let it go, but clearly I needed to get it out. I recently ran into someone I wasn’t expecting to run into, nor did I want to, at least not this soon after I was let down by him. Life catches you off guard sometimes. Thank goodness my husband was with me to support how I handled it. I had mixed emotions when I walked away. I was proud I remained composed, but seeing him brought up some tucked-away anger.  Later, when I was describing what happened to a good friend, she shared with me something that someone else had recently told her, “Don’t let someone live rent-free in your head.” Her words stuck. Even though I remained poised in the moment and chose to be polite, the truth is, I carried the weight of that anger long after the brief interaction. I’m glad he didn’t get a reaction from me, but he certainly took up space in...